Not everything in life and business goes exactly as planned. That’s because outside forces are constantly at work, creating situations and choices that lead us toward success or most often putting roadblocks in the way. Sometimes, even internal forces sabotage what we are capable of achieving.
It’s a shock to the system when failure happens, but I learned it’s not the end of the world. If anything, it’s a launching point for even greater success. Several years ago, I had just gotten married and was riding the wave of the sale of my startup. Little did I know that the wave had already reached its crest. I literally went from millions in the bank to broke in a matter of days. It rocked me to my core, nothing in my life till that point had hurt so bad.
You never expect failure to happen or you would obviously be prepared for the next stage in your life. It was this experience (and a couple others) that taught me how to address failure, adapt, and then recover by reinventing myself.
Here are ten steps I took to start over and end up in an even better place:
- Accept failure happened and learn from it: While you may be in shock and even in a (huge) state of denial, your first step has to involve accepting that failure has occurred and you are okay with it. Even the most successful people can and will tell you about when they failed at one or more points in their lives. Learn from the failure and use it as the basis to enact changes that will prevent you from repeating the same mistakes in the future. I looked back over the events that led me to go from hero to zero so that I would make different choices the next time I was in a place to sell my startup.
- Actively decide to change: It’s one thing to say you would like to change and it’s another thing to be forced into reinventing ourselves. If you are wanting to change, but merely talking about it, the result may be that you don’t put the real effort into making the necessary changes that are required. Instead, you have to consciously decide to change and actually have an action that you do to accomplish this. I had to tell myself that I did not want to be broke so I was going to take the necessary steps to lift myself out of that financial state. Half the battle in reinventing yourself is the mental opponent that stands in the way. It’s that nagging little scummy creature in your mind that tells you that you “can’t” – or “it won’t work.” Banish that enemy.
- Prioritize the tasks that lead to change: Focus on those activities that are part of the transformation process and leave those tasks on the back burner that are not related to that change. To help myself figure out what those priorities were and how they should be organized, I regularly spent time each day making and reviewing to-do lists and using time management apps to dictate how much time I spent on each item or task I was working on. But, the main point here is the word, “do.” When you are feeling lousy about what happened it’s hard to do something. Take a day and whine if you wish, however, taking action is the only way to dig out.
- Have a mentor direct the makeover: When I was struggling with what would help with the reinvention, I reached out to a mentor to guide the process and help me paint the picture of what I wanted to become. Besides connecting the dots, my mentor also provided the roadmap on how to get there. While you don’t have to follow all the mentor’s advice, they do have the knowledge and experience to get you on the right path and they have the objectivity and distance to let you know, bluntly, when you are not on the right path. My mentor’s advice has stayed with me even now, and I still use that advice even though I have achieved success once again.
- Move outside your comfort zone: Although it feels good in that warm little spot you’re in, which often makes it hard to leave, you must step outside of what you know in order to truly change. For me, this meant trying new things like coding, blogging, running an agency, and starting a payment processing company. It was a way to alter my career path and think about business problems that could be solved in new ways. I admit that this experimentation process was chaotic and somewhat stressful. Okay, really stressful. Yet, it felt exhilarating and exciting when I came out the other end of that process and emerged in a new place that process set me on the path to my current success.
- Align yourself with the right people: I become a connector after experiencing the power and potential that attaching yourself to the right people did for me while I was reinventing myself. Both online and offline networking helped me target and meet the type of people who directly and indirectly changed me as a person in business and life. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there in networking groups so you can get to more people who can show or direct you toward your new path.
- Keep an eye on your finances. While there is a lot of elbow grease involved in changing yourself, other parts of this change come with a price tag. Plus, if you have financially failed and are broke or in the midst of a bankruptcy, your finances will play a large role in just how fast and deep you can make changes. Take on temporary work and get some type of income rolling in while you work toward your transformation. Create a budget and stick to it, and put 10% of your income in the bank (and then pretend like you don’t have it). As part of your transformation process, you may need to increase your financial education plus take time to pay off any debts. You don’t want anything about your past self creeping into your reinvented self.
- Follow-up and reflect: As you go through the transformation, take the time to follow-up on leads, opportunities, and new relationships so you continue to develop those potential aspects of your future self. Review the progress you have made with your priorities and revise those lists with new tasks. Reflect on what you have accomplished as a motivation to keep going. I did this with my mentor and on my own, as well, which helped reinforce what I was doing and gave me the courage to keep going.
- Remove negative forces: The process of reinventing yourself is hard enough on its own, including any self-doubt, so the last thing you need is outside negative forces converging on you. You don’t have to justify your decisions to anyone nor do you have to listen to others’ doubts or negative opinions. You have to be firm on this point. “Sorry, I can’t hear anything negative right now,” has to be said out loud, and to a number of people. Focus on surrounding yourself with positive people who encourage your new direction and offer the support you need to continue.
- Take one step at a time: Although we live in a society of instant gratification, real transformation doesn’t happen in that timeframe. Instead, it can take months and even years to completely change ourselves. It’s where I remind myself that “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and neither would my new career path. I had to be patient, put the time in, and work diligently on my goals. I took the slow and steady approach to win my transformation. After all, research shows that it takes a specific time period before you can develop a new habit. This approach then, step by step – action by action, ensured that the changes I was making to myself were sticking. Plus, like everything it takes time, but the level of satisfaction in the achievement is that much greater.
It’s been an incredible journey and I’m thankful I was given the opportunity to take this journey. These steps helped me get to my current destination and greater level of success in life as well as being able to show me what not to do – so I don’t repeat the mistakes of the past.
I fully expect the unexpected to happen–only differently–and, when it happens, I’ll know what steps to take (again) in order to create the next version of myself and to move forward. I also know and understand a little better what people mean when they say life is not about the destination; it’s about the journey. While yours will be different from mine, these ten steps will help you chart a course to get on that journey for yourself – to the new self you will be working on.