Last week I spoke to business plan competition hopefuls at the Science Business and Industry Library here in Manhattan. Myself and other contest winners go back periodically and share our competition experience with other hopefuls, as well as what we have been doing since winning.
As I stood at the microphone prior to beginning my speech, I answered more informal questions from members in the audience. One hopeful approached me with a personal question. She asked, “Why don’t my friends support or take me seriously when I share my dreams of starting a business?”
I was sad she was having a difficult experience with her circle of friends, but I was happy to notice a pattern that I too had experienced. What can I say, misery loves company. I replied that when I used to share my entrepreneurial dream with others, they didn’t take me seriously either…until I showed them I was serious.
However, I still pondered why we human beings are such strange creatures when it comes to celebrating the success of others and offering genuine support. Towards the end of our conversation, I brought to the woman’s attention that successful people usually also have successful friends. While it must be very cool to have a circle of accomplished, wealthy and well-known individuals in your corner, I’m sure the process of outgrowing the friends they started with was not an easy one.
My journey towards success has been a bridge of solitude. Only other entrepreneurs understand the sacrifices I’ve made: the heart wrenching fears I’ve faced, my perpetual state of exhaustion, spending all my extra income and time on the pursuit of my dream.
There comes a time when, as an entrepreneur, you spend less and less time with people who aren’t on the same path as you. Until you find your tribe of teammates, new friends or people with similar lifestyle preferences, the road can be rough and lonely. I often found myself wondering if all the sacrifice was worth it.
Earlier this year I stopped drinking alcohol- a habit I’ve had since age 13. I’ve always been eternally curious, easily bored and a few steps ahead of my peers. So I started experimenting at a young age. I was the ‘bad influence’ that would pick your daughter up and bring her home smelling like cigarette smoke. I smoked my first cigarette at age 10, tried many of the mind altering substances by age 13, and had a fake ID at age 16. 16 was also the age I told my physician mother that I was ready to go on birth control pills.
By the time I was legally able to drink, age 21, I was really bored with alcohol. I had been drinking for almost 10 years. So how ironic that 21 was the first time I gave drinking a break for 6 months. I stopped drinking for additional 6 month spans throughout my 20’s and usually started drinking again due to FOMO- fear of missing out. In my 20s I wanted to commune with my peers and feel a part of the group. But inside I always knew that I could very happily do without drinking.
Giving up alcohol can alienate you from people around you who use alcohol as a social or emotional crutch. As if being a hyper-focused (obsessive) entrepreneur isn’t alienating enough, now my sobriety puts an even bigger wedge between myself and others. That’s fine with me though. I’m very content being off the sauce. The benefits of not drinking far outweigh the negatives. I have more free time, earlier mornings, no hangovers, more money, stronger health, weight loss, and clarity of mind.